I was really hoping I'd escape a certain symptom of menopause. Grace, maybe, for having endured nearly 40 years of on-the-floor-wish-I-was-dead-painful periods.
But oh no, proof, that if there is truly a god, it is a HE, because no female deity would have ever come up with a design so intrinsically flawed.
The flashes have started. They are just "warm" still, not really the "hot" flash I witnessed at a conference a few years ago, turning the woman next to me (who only a moment before looked normal and a lot like me), into a sweat-dripping red-hot being fanning herself as if we were sitting under a magnolia tree in Savannah in August instead of an air-conditioned hotel conference room.
Ironic that my first warm flash was at another organizing conference just this past month. Maybe I'd been having them before, but they started quietly, I think, disguised as just making me think my environment was a little too warm. But this time, I was in a room full of women who were all complaining they were cold and needed sweaters. I was the one fanning myself this time, looking around to see if anyone else was uncomfortable in the same manner. No, they were all still shivering. First official hot flash...Saturday, October 9, in Sunnyvale, California. Not a sweat-drencher, just a scalp-warmer.
I was having another flash just before I started this post, which is what prompted me to write. And, which prompted what is another apparent symptom of menopause...irritation.
Irritation has actually preceded the hot flashes. I find myself irritated quite often...everyone and everything irritates me easily. Yes, I love each member of my family, but each member of my family seems to be able to irritate me in new and uncommon ways. I know it's not really them (well, sort of...), that this is menopause controlling my brain, but it's still there. Hopefully they will still be there when this is all over and menopause has taken its last hot, irritating hike. Of course, since I hadn't logged into this blog in quite awhile, it wanted me to sign in. Twenty minutes later I got the right combination of e-mail address and password and it graciously let me into my own blog. Thanks.
Oh, and did I mention the weight-gain? As if needing to lose 20 pounds before all this wasn't enough...another 10 has found its way onto my frame when I wasn't looking. (Maybe while I was having a hot flash or being irritated by my loved ones.) I've never been so active (which isn't saying much, but I have been MORE active the last few months), and I don't over-eat (I don't think), but a solid ten has attached itself to me. I'll be seeing a nutritionist this week to see if I can regain some control over this body that has gone on its own roller-coaster ride with the big scary "M" monster at the controls. I'll keep the blog updated on my progress.
(I've started some food changes on my own--trying some fun raw-food blender recipes for soups and smoothies. I'll post my versions of the successful ones on my "It's a Cookbook" (http://toservevegetarians.blogspot.com/) blog soon.)
Oohhh...there's another one....I guess I'll save on heating bills the winter, huh?
